Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Caught in between

Have you ever been caught in between two worlds not sure which one to choose? Have you felt as you are lost within yourself you can't seem to find a way out? Well...I have! The feeling of being trapped in an unhappy world starts to define me and create imaginary walls, boundaries I can't seem to escape from. No matter how hard, how fast I seem to run, I end up running in circles with no way out. I feel trapped in my own skin, my life, my everything. Sometimes a glimpse of hope shines through my shattered glass but sometimes I feel as I am stuck in hell, thinking "abandon all hope."

As I do my own soul searching, my own quest for the truth, I stumble, I fall, I cripple. Somewhere in between the lines there is the answer I am looking for but how do I get there? Temptation, deceipt, honesty, faigth go hand in hand. I want to break free but I can't! I want to be happy but I am not! I want to be me but I am not! I am caught in something I don't fully understand that is consuming the best of me! I am traped in my own spider web I can't break free from! I pray, I try, I move on but always stuck at the same place, same story, same outcome. I need to see clearly beyond the fog that is smothering me. Can someone shine a flashlight please? Can someone give a hand so I can cross back to the other side?

Yes, I am smart, ambitious, talented, on and on, but I am also human. I make mistakes, bad choices, take wrong paths but I believe we all do. I forgive myself but how do I come out better than before? Where is the way out?

I want a better job, a loving, fullfilling relationship, good health and happiness but don't we all? I am not even close to it....I just see a glimpse of it in the far distance. So for all of you who feel
the same way I do, you are not alone! We all have our own quests, battles to fight. Mine is with
myself, my own beast! I hope I come out of it with just bruises, scars that I may carry for the rest of my own life but with priceless lessons learned along the way.

Stay positive! Be brave! The answer is somewhere out there! Go get it! We'll protect it!