And the winners are...Oscars 2019 through the eyes of Nikoleta

This year is the year I will never forget - my year to dream and see firsthand that dreams really do come true. One big dream of mine that I am still struggling to wake up from was being at the 91st Academy Awards. I had the privilege, honor and excitement to attend and cover the Oscars for the first time. When I first stepped on the Red Carpet, I felt the enormous energy and excitement - an energy I have never felt before. Numerous journalists and TV stations were prepping for the big night in their beautiful gowns. I got to wear mine - an elegant blue dress and a new blond hairstyle. I felt just like a star who stepped on the same Red Carpet as all the big Hollywood stars, stars that have walked on this carpet for 91 years! Flash, camera, smile....

After the Red Carpet, I walked back to the legendary Dolby Theater all the way up to the press room filled with all the big journalists and publications. This is the room where all the magic happens - when all the winners come with their Oscars and we get to ask them questions while watching the Oscars LIVE from the room. In the meantime, we enjoyed delicious desserts, coffee and entrees.

The highlight of the evening for me was seeing Lady Gaga in person for the first time and watching her performance with Bradley Cooper ("Shallow") on stage. What a tearful and emotional performance! As I sat on the first raw, feet away from her, I watched her holding her so deserved Oscar statue. Her speech moved me and inspired me. She looked so perfect and glowing with so much light as she spoke. Hearing Lady Gaga speak with so much love about Bradley Cooper was truly touching for me. Even though I didn't get a chance to ask her a question, I would have asked her about Bradley and I am glad that even though no-one asked her that she answered on her own.

After winning the Oscar® for music written for motion pictures (original song), Lady Gaga poses backstage during the live ABC Telecast of The 91st Oscars® at the Dolby® Theatre in Hollywood, CA on Sunday, February 24, 2019. credit: Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

"I would like to say is for this film, there are many songs written, but there was one song that was written with true, true friends of mine that I've known, who know everything about me, the ups and the downs.  And the truth is people see what they see on the outside.  And in some way, shape, or form, at times, we become architects.  But the truth is, I was so determined to live my dreams and yet there was so much in the way.  There were so many things I did not anticipate that broke me, that tortured me, that traumatized me.  And I think sometimes, what you are trying to clarify, is that people think that it comes easy to us because when we show up and we have our suits on, that it's all okay.  But the truth is every single person on this stage has been through so much.  We are friends.  We have worked on ourselves in life.  We have tried to heal through the torment of this industry and being artists.  And the truth is that this is very, very hard work.  And it is not for the faint of heart.  But I would never want to imply that anyone in the world is faint of heart.  I wanted everyone tonight to feel like they could be each one of us on that stage.  And I'm so very grateful that I got to be up there with these incredible men that I call my friends.  I remember the moment we wrote this song together.  It was great, it was beautiful, and I'm so honored to be here," said Lady Gaga.

Another great thing she said to us, all of us in the press room was about the making of the song "Shallow" and the pain it brought for her. "We are standing here for all of you.  We love making music.  We love making art.  I love being an actress.  And the truth is when this Oscar was handed to me tonight, I looked right in the eyes of it, and I saw a lot of pain.  I saw all the things that I've been through.  And I also felt the camaraderie and the truth of the pain that the men standing next to me have been through as well.  I said it before, and I'll say it again.  This is not easy work.  And nothing was handed to us, and I couldn't be prouder to be up here with my real friends.  We really sat in a room and wrote a song together, not knowing if anyone would give a damn.  And we talked to each other about life," she said. "I truly hope that everyone in the room tonight when they saw our performance saw the true brilliant man that he is, the actor, the director, the screenplay writer, the producer, the musician."

Lady Gaga also had a message for all of us: "I really believe in my heart that the unfortunate truth is that our cell phones  as I watch you all typing    are becoming reality.  It's becoming reality for the world.  And in this song, we provide not just a conversation, but also a very poignant statement.  I wish to not be in the shallow, but I am.  But I wish to dive off the deep end, and watch me do it.  I think this is something that speaks to many people.  And during, I think, a very shallow time, it's a chance for us all to grab hands, you know, and just dive off into the water together, and swim into the deepest depths of the ocean that we can."

Rami Malek poses backstage with the Oscar® for performance by an actor in a leading role during the live ABC Telecast of The 91st Oscars® at the Dolby® Theatre in Hollywood, CA on Sunday, February 24, 2019. credit: Mike Baker / ©A.M.P.A.S.

As an immigrant myself, it is great to see other immigrants honored for their hard work at the Oscars. One of them was Rami Malek for his role of Freddie Mercury in "Bohemian Rhapsody."
"I don't know how they thought a young man who felt so alienated, profoundly alienated, with such social anxiety could ever play Freddie Mercury.  But the one thing that was beautiful about it was I started to discover that in this audacious, present, communicative, powerful human being there was a sense of loneliness and a sense of anxiety, and I could relate the two together.  So I thank them for discovering that in me, but I do have to thank so many great auteurs who have brought me to the point where I felt confident in my work," said Rami. "I never thought that I could possibly play Freddie Mercury until I realized his name was Farrokh Bulsara, and that is the most powerful message that was sent to me from the beginning.  That was the motivation that allowed me to say, oh, I can do this.  And that man steps on stage and he moves people in a way that no one else does, and he has ability to look everyone in the eye and see them for who they are.  And that's because he was struggling to identify himself.  And all of that passion and virtue and everything burning inside of him allowed him to look to everybody else and say, hey, I see you.  Not right here in the front; I see you there in the back.  I see all of you, I will play to all of you, and together we will transcend.  Because it's not about being from one place or looking like one thing, one race.  Any of that.  We are all human beings.  And forgive me for this, but collectively we are all the champions." 

Another highlight of the night for me was asking questions personally to Blackklnamsan and Bao winners. I was also caught on camera asking Bao winners questions.

 Becky Neiman-Cobb and Domee Shi. Clip Courtesy of A.M.P.A.S. ©2019

When it was all over and the winners were heading to their Oscar after parties to celebrate, I was heading back to the hotel. I decided to walk the Red Carpet one more time...for the last time I stepped down the Dolby Theater stairs where the stars and Oscar winners had just been and walked down to the carpet which shined bright at night. The energy was beyond this world. They had baristas serving coffee on the Red Carpet for all of us - celebrities and press. This allowed me the chance to meet some of the stars in person and talk to them. Right next to me while I was getting my honey bee latte was Mark Ronson who co-wrote the song "Shallow" with Lady Gaga and worked with Miley Cyrus on "Nothing Breaks Like a Heart." He was holding his Oscar and I was happy to congratulate him and tell him how much I love "Shallow" and thanked him for making the song. Then I turned around and saw Olivia Colman walking down the carpet and I congratulated her personally for her win for Best Actress. I admiringly watched by as all the stars were heading to their limos through a luxurious entrance and soaked everything around me in. What a feeling! There is nothing else like it to walk among the stars, on the Red Carpet.

Best Actress - Olivia Colman

As the evening continued, I took a last look at the red carpet and Dolby Theater and breathed deeply while feeling the warmth of the elegant heaters near me and took a ride with a mini golf cart towards my hotel, away from the stardom, the excitement and brought back unforgettable memories with me that will last and burn like a flame for lifetime.